Home Sweet Home

This week I was able to move out of my temporary apartment in New York and return home to Bucks County, PA. I don’t know whether it was being away from the loud traffic noises or just finally sleeping in my own bed, but the first night home was the best night’s sleep I’ve had in weeks.

As predicted by my physicians and nurses, the weeks following chemoradiation were the most difficult in terms of toxicities due to the delayed effects of therapy. For me, week #8 was the worst and I required additional hydration pretty much every other day during that week. This was due to the fact that my electrolyte levels, in particular magnesium, were low. Fatigue was probably the greatest side effect, but in general I just felt like I had a really bad case of the flu.

By week #9 the physicians indicated that my electrolyte levels had stabilized and/or improved, meaning that I didn’t require as frequent hydration. That gave me the freedom to return home since I didn’t need to be near MSKCC.

My salivary output and taste buds are still off as a lingering effect from the chemoradiation therapy, although I understand they should return over time. This makes it difficult to eat – or at least find food that is appealing. I’ve lost more than 20 pounds since the start of treatment, which doesn’t disappoint me as much as my doctors.

I’m hoping to return to my daily commute to NY for work later this week and get back to a relatively normal life. The radiation burn marks on my neck are nearly gone and you’d hardly know by looking at me that I just went through seven weeks of pure hell.

My post-treatment visit with Dr. Nancy Lee has been scheduled for mid-May 2016 which is when I’ll get my first update on the treatment efficacy. She did order a PET scan on my last day of treatment, which looked encouraging although you cannot draw any definitive conclusions at this early stage. Nonetheless, there was decreased fluorodeoxyglucose (FDG) uptake in the right tonsil and in the rim corresponding with the neck nodal mass. Interestingly, the neck nodal mass also originally measured 4.0 x 2.6 centimeters and now measures 2.3 x 1.6 centimeters, which is a dramatic decrease in size.

Week #7 – Done and Done

Friday marked the last day of my seven week chemoradiation therapy journey. Aside from some routine follow-up appointments and recovering from lingering toxicities, I will now wait several months for the repeat PET scan that will provide some insight as to whether or not the treatment was a success. Of course, I’m trying to stay optimistic that the combination of radiation and chemotherapy treatments that I endured over the past seven weeks successfully eliminated all of the cancer – but there is always that nagging thought that it did not and that leaves a pit in my stomach.

Michael Becker's Radiation Mask

Michael Becker’s Radiation Mask

Fortunately, on Friday I was able to take home with me the dreaded radiation mask (see enclosed image). No longer will I need to wear this mask for daily radiation therapy, which makes me VERY happy. The nuclear technicians offered humorous insight as to what other patients do with their masks after radiation treatment is done.  Some make decorative items, such as flower pots. Others simply burn them in a sadistic revenge ceremony, which I must admit holds a certain type of appeal. Although it somehow conjures up thoughts of Darth Vader’s helmet, last seen burning in a funeral pyre in ‘The Return of the Jedi,’ winding up in the hands of Kylo Ren in the ‘Star Wars: The Force Awakens’ movie…

Regardless of what I do with my mask, I am enjoying a certain freedom knowing that I’m no longer beholden to a daily treatment schedule and that I have received the very best treatment possible for my disease by the entire team at Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center (MSKCC). It is amazing how quickly the seven week treatment cycle passed and it all seems like a blur right now. While I did not look forward to the daily radiation treatment, the appointments were at least a reminder that I was doing something to treat the disease. Now I have that same empty feeling that plagued me when I was first diagnosed and searching for the best treatment – the feeling that I should be doing something but cannot.

Final Day of Chemotherapy

Today was my last chemotherapy appointment. It was bittersweet watching the final drops of cisplatin fall from the bag, stream down the winding tubes, and finally enter the intravenous line into my vein.

On the positive side, I was able to complete all of the three cycles of chemotherapy that are associated with the encouraging survival rates published by the physicians at MSKCC. Some patients don’t make it through all three cycles due to side effects, and I was nervous earlier this week when I started running a fever that they may skip the last cycle.

On the negative side, the week following chemotherapy has been difficult for me in terms of nausea and a general sense of feeling crappy. On top of that, the doctors keep reminding me that the coming few weeks will be the toughest. This is due to the cumulative effects of both radiation and chemotherapy, as the two therapies continue to exert their toxic effects even after they are discontinued.

Michael Becker and Daughter Megan in the Chemotherapy Suite at MSKCC

Michael Becker and Daughter Megan in the Chemotherapy Suite at MSKCC

Fortunately, I was joined not only by Lorie but also my youngest daughter Megan. Megan was able to come to NYC thanks to Lorie’s best friend since 3rd grade of elementary school – Debby Novack. She came into town to help out after Lorie’s sister went back to Illinois after her three week tour of duty. Not an overly exciting day for Megan sitting around the chemotherapy suite and shuffling between various appointments, but it was great having her there.

The following two days (Thursday and Friday) are also my final days of radiation therapy. It will be so nice to have at least part of my life back next week – not having to be a slave to the daily treatments and the three chemotherapy cycles. Any remaining doctor appointments will simply be routine checkups leading up to a PET scan in approximately 3-4 months to determine in part whether or not the treatment was successful or if further intervention is needed.

Most important, my lower back pain has greatly subsided and I can get up and down much better than even a few days ago. Either the muscle spasm went away on its own or the myriad of pain medicines and muscle relaxers finally started working. Regardless, I’m happy and better positioned to deal with the coming weeks with one less ailment to worry about.